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What we get from it is a balanced version of CradleCradle that wants you to play creatures and rewards you for doing so in a big way

This was deemed a little too gruesome, and it was later changed to a means to turn creatures into Food tokens (and thus, life)

Note that activating a planeswalker ability is a special action

Information Dealer Rarity: Common TYPE: Creature SUBTYPE: Human Wizard CMC: 2 Mana cost: USD: $0.16 EUR: 0.14 TIX: 0.04 EDHREC RANK: 18029 (1/1) : Look at the top X cards of your library, where X is the number of Wizards on the battlefield, then put them back in any order

As for that other piece of Oracle text, its not so much of a joke as it is a way to prevent a joke from being repeated ad nauseum: In most cases where the value of X isnt defined in the text of a card, its controller chooses the value of X